I was dining in an open restuarant when this man came over and borrowed a cigarette from me. He told me he wasn't feeling good because he didn't smoke for over an hour. I gave it to him.
He was 59. He told me his ex-wife, whom he divorced some 20 years ago, was dying, hence he was feeling really sad today. He shares 4 kids with her. She has a brain tumor and they found out too late. He wanted to get drunk but no matter how much he drinks, he never ever gets drunk.
He writes stories and poems in both German and English and gets them published in newspapers and stuff. He can speak 6 languages.
He wrote me a poem. This is how it goes.
A sandcorn will rise from the beach - one at a time. The sandcorn is you - like a diamond! What does a diamond do in our world? Only to bring beauty, only to shine and give love. The sandcorn is part of the windows of our hearts. High airs carry birds and the sandcorn flies along. When the sandcorn falls, it hits your heart.
It has something to do with the weather. A combination of the sun and cool wind blowing on your face. There were so many perfect scenes that I would LOVE to take a photo of, but the people looked too fierce so I didn't want to risk it.
I went with wonderful crew. We had the greatest donut ever lived, bought my first fridge magnet, a new 'african' looking wallet and a 'I love Casablanca' teeshirt.
After that I drank lots of beer and sat facing the sea of cars driving past... Love it. :D
I have been thinking about the meaning of travelling; what is it exactly? Does it involve taking a lot of photos and leaving yourself a bunch of memories afterwards, or would it be better to just walk along the streets and experience then and there?
I couldn't find an answer, because I find myself unable to explain what I've experienced when I leave the country without photos as evidence of myself having been there... Yet I never truly enjoy when I am taking photos all the time.
I think I'm a lone traveller. I can't stand it when I travel with other people because I can't truly be myself.
I want to stand by a random street stall and choose the perfect postcard to bring home with me as long as possible.
I want to tear when I see a group of musicians playing Canon In D along the streets without feeling embarrassed.
I want to sit on the steps, do nothing and just observe everyone walking by.
I want to eat the worse local food,
and then take the subway slowly back to the hotel...
I know everything sounds too idealistic.
I am TOO idealistic.
I need to stop myself and come back to Earth.
I'm addicted to this song after watching the British sitcom 'Coupling'. It's simply hilarious...
Off to play my guitar ♥
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
i dont miss home anymore. i miss my family and some friends, but other than that... there's nothing left for me in Singapore. i think of all the disappointments my friends had given me... i thought of all i had before i came here: the someone whom i was 'close' with for more than 2 years. u know what, i don't miss u but what i hate about it is that we never got to say a proper goodbye... well i tried to say it, but i never got one back.
human relationships are so complex. how can 2 people be so close one second, and not know anything about each other the next? i used to ask people around me this question, but now i got the answer.
it is just how it is.
i think it is hard for me to get close to anyone again. i feel like part of me disappeared in the period of time we were together. i do not know who i really am... i FORGOT who i really am.
and now im looking for myself again.
im glad to get my freedom, independence and individualism back!
im going to Moscow tomorrow and i should sleep... instead i wanna stay awake all night talking rubbish. LOL.
i should take more photos. but not too many. i want the out of body experience when i am stepping on the soil of another country. ♥
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