Dear me,
It's the middle of the night, one week after I've left Doha. I'm sitting in my room, in the dark, at 4am in the morning, in Singapore, Singapore. It's funny how things took an unexpected turn and I end up where I am right here at this moment... with a snap of fingers. Coming home was the right decision that I've made... & I also realised that Doha has changed me in a way that cannot be reversed anymore.
It's not that I don't care. Somehow I feel like I'm just someone sitting in the middle of the world, pretending to know what I'm doing by saying that I don't care. There are too many things to care about, too many opinions to listen to. I feel like my mind is swimming with words and scenes and I become confused. The line between right and wrong is becoming blury and I don't really know where is it anymore.
People who are like poison and people who are good for me: which ones are which? Am I pushing the right ones away and going closer to the wrong ones? Can someone be poisonous but good for me at the same time?
Once again I stand at the crossroads of my life. I want my life to be magnificant... I want it too badly. And I need to find out WHAT exactly makes a life magnificant.
We learn new things about each other everyday. Can you still recognise yourself when you look into the mirror today?
Love,
Ven
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