Dear Me,
I know that no matter how hard you try, you still cannot push your ego aside. You continue pretending to be happy and unaffected, but in fact you wanna push away the people who don't believe in you so bad.
You want something so badly, you know you should be having positive thoughts so that positive things can happen, but you cannot help but feel so damn terrible, lost, and afraid. You're afraid of the day when you really have to give up.
Is there something wrong with me?
Why do I not think that money is the most important thing in the world? Why do I know that secretly, deep down inside, career is nothing to me but an empty shell?
What I really want is to LIVE. To live life in an amazing way, in a way nobody have ever lived? All I want to do is to be like a HOBO, to travel around the poor countries with a backpack, do volunteer walk and sleep by the streets. All I want to do is smile and be happy and meet different people everyday. I wanna feel loneliness and emptiness so that I'm able to feel alive.
Why can't I just want the same things as everyone else?
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