Sunday, March 27, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Letter for myself
Dear Me,
I know that no matter how hard you try, you still cannot push your ego aside. You continue pretending to be happy and unaffected, but in fact you wanna push away the people who don't believe in you so bad.
You want something so badly, you know you should be having positive thoughts so that positive things can happen, but you cannot help but feel so damn terrible, lost, and afraid. You're afraid of the day when you really have to give up.
Is there something wrong with me?
Why do I not think that money is the most important thing in the world? Why do I know that secretly, deep down inside, career is nothing to me but an empty shell?
What I really want is to LIVE. To live life in an amazing way, in a way nobody have ever lived? All I want to do is to be like a HOBO, to travel around the poor countries with a backpack, do volunteer walk and sleep by the streets. All I want to do is smile and be happy and meet different people everyday. I wanna feel loneliness and emptiness so that I'm able to feel alive.
Why can't I just want the same things as everyone else?
I know that no matter how hard you try, you still cannot push your ego aside. You continue pretending to be happy and unaffected, but in fact you wanna push away the people who don't believe in you so bad.
You want something so badly, you know you should be having positive thoughts so that positive things can happen, but you cannot help but feel so damn terrible, lost, and afraid. You're afraid of the day when you really have to give up.
Is there something wrong with me?
Why do I not think that money is the most important thing in the world? Why do I know that secretly, deep down inside, career is nothing to me but an empty shell?
What I really want is to LIVE. To live life in an amazing way, in a way nobody have ever lived? All I want to do is to be like a HOBO, to travel around the poor countries with a backpack, do volunteer walk and sleep by the streets. All I want to do is smile and be happy and meet different people everyday. I wanna feel loneliness and emptiness so that I'm able to feel alive.
Why can't I just want the same things as everyone else?
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Courage
I had a friend who once told me that she only likes and will fall in love with someone who does everything for her. The kind who, despite any obstacles, get her things done for her and treats her like a princess. I used to not understand that but now I think I do.
When a person behaves that way, it shows how much he/she cares or likes you.
However, it is also a sign of insecurity on our part, if we only choos those who are by default good to us. It shows a lack of confidence and courage. The lack of courage to fight for what you want, and instead, just settle for what you can get and what is put in front of you.
I don’t want to settle for less than what I deserve. I wanna fight for what I want but I admit - I lack the courage to put myself in the risk of being rejected.
When a person behaves that way, it shows how much he/she cares or likes you.
However, it is also a sign of insecurity on our part, if we only choos those who are by default good to us. It shows a lack of confidence and courage. The lack of courage to fight for what you want, and instead, just settle for what you can get and what is put in front of you.
I don’t want to settle for less than what I deserve. I wanna fight for what I want but I admit - I lack the courage to put myself in the risk of being rejected.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Luck
Honestly, if I'm not there and you don't even care, I don't see why I ever mattered to you.
Anyway my life is getting better by the minute. I hope. Praying damn hard to God and hoping that he would put luck on my side. I've tried my best and all I can do now is submit a nice photo, cross my fingers and hope that I would receive that email that would change my life. PLEASE.
Hello new friends. You guys are so awesome. I look forward to our awesome friendship and this time I'll do things right. xoxo
Anyway my life is getting better by the minute. I hope. Praying damn hard to God and hoping that he would put luck on my side. I've tried my best and all I can do now is submit a nice photo, cross my fingers and hope that I would receive that email that would change my life. PLEASE.
Hello new friends. You guys are so awesome. I look forward to our awesome friendship and this time I'll do things right. xoxo
Friday, March 11, 2011
Friendship?
Its 5.41am in the morning & I can't sleep. Was supposed to wake up for something important in 29 minutes' time but now I'm just going to attend it like a panda.
Just feeling so fucking disappointed in someone. Someone I thought I would be best friends with all my life. Yes, we've had our differences, and we've been fighting more than ever these days. But never once have I thought of deleting you from my life. I've deleted countless people from my life and it's only because they don't mean a thing and I no longer want them there. Maybe it's the same way for you. And you actually said you should have done it a long time ago. Never did realise that our friendship was so difficult and meaningless to you.
Maybe some of you were right. I'm not a guy and never will be. No matter how much we enjoy our time together and have in common, we'll never be the kind of real best friends that real best friends could be. Maybe it's all superficial. Maybe we've all been wasting time building something that was going to die off eventually anyway. Maybe it's good that this is happening now so we won't waste more time. And maybe really, friendship is just a temporary phase in everyone's life.
I fucking wanna laugh at the statement "we dont need to have a lot of friends, just one or two real ones.' ITS SUCH A FUCKING JOKE.
Just feeling so fucking disappointed in someone. Someone I thought I would be best friends with all my life. Yes, we've had our differences, and we've been fighting more than ever these days. But never once have I thought of deleting you from my life. I've deleted countless people from my life and it's only because they don't mean a thing and I no longer want them there. Maybe it's the same way for you. And you actually said you should have done it a long time ago. Never did realise that our friendship was so difficult and meaningless to you.
Maybe some of you were right. I'm not a guy and never will be. No matter how much we enjoy our time together and have in common, we'll never be the kind of real best friends that real best friends could be. Maybe it's all superficial. Maybe we've all been wasting time building something that was going to die off eventually anyway. Maybe it's good that this is happening now so we won't waste more time. And maybe really, friendship is just a temporary phase in everyone's life.
I fucking wanna laugh at the statement "we dont need to have a lot of friends, just one or two real ones.' ITS SUCH A FUCKING JOKE.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
I'm lying alone with my head on the floor; thinking of you till it hurts
Heard this song in one of the mixed tapes I found on the car. So amazingly good.
It might just be because I want something I cannot get.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Surround yourself with positive energy...
The way to do that is to involve yourself with the people, places and things that make you happy. Positive energy expands and grows stronger when you feed it with happy thoughts, affirmations, and the knowledge that you deserve good things in your life. And, when you are beaming with love and joy, you are radiant, and you attract even greater love and joy. Empower yourself in this way, and the world will be yours. Do it on an ongoing basis, and you will be unstoppable.
- Aries horoscope
- Aries horoscope
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