Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results Warmth ||||||||||||||| 50% Intellect ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Emotional Stability |||||||||||||||||| 54% Aggressiveness |||||||||||||||||| 58% Liveliness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Dutifulness ||||||||||||||||||||| 62% Social Assertiveness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Sensitivity |||||||||||||||||| 54% Paranoia |||||||||||||||||| 54% Abstractness ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% Introversion ||||||||||||||| 42% Anxiety |||||||||||||||||| 58% Openmindedness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Independence ||||||||||||||||||||| 62% Perfectionism ||||||||||||||| 50% Tension ||||||||||||||| 42%

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... and I am lost inside.

This is when I'd cry. Crying is right at hand in the smothering dark, closed inside someone else, when you see how everythig you can ever accomplish will end up as trash.

Anything you're ever proud of will be thrown away.

And I'm lost inside.

This is when I'd cry because right now, your life comes down to nothing, and not even nothing, oblivion.

It's easy to cry when you realize that everyone you love will reject you or die. On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone will drop to zero.

- Fight Club

Happy Valentine's Day ; 这世界辽阔，我总会实现一个梦

Listening to awesome music and typing this. Back from my long heart to heart talk with my best friends. I'm so glad to have them in my life. There are times when I am afraid they would leave me because I create too much trouble for them, but they never gave up on me. Thank you so much.

I think it's the end for us. Too many a times we thought we had reached the limit of our relationship, but I think, this time it really is the end. I know you can't handle it. I told you every single time how is it gonna be, but you still cannot handle it. There is no point continuing this because everyone's gonna lose out in the end. Including the people around us.

Anyway, I spent my valentine's day sleeping like a baby in my room. It was awesome. Watched No Strings Attached and it was awesome too. Now it's time to sleep again. Or maybe I would stay awake, go for a run and a swim and sleep tomorrow night. MAYBE.

Nothing Compares to You

It's been seven hours and fifteen days
since you took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
since you took your love away
since you've been gone I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
but nothing
I said nothing can take away these blues,

'cause nothing compares
nothing compares to you

It's been so lonely without you here
like a bird without a song
nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling
tell me baby where did I go wrong?
I could put my arms round every boy I see
but they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor guess what he told me
guess what he told me
he said girl you better try to have fun
no matter what you do
but he's a fool

'cause nothing compares
nothing compares to you

All the flowers that you planted mother
in the backyard
all died when you went away
I know that living with you, baby, was sometimes hard
but I'm willing to give it another try

Reflect

Reflecting now. I am opening that part of me that decided not to care. I care. I'm not cold-blooded. I'm just living a lie and pretending that I'm superman. No matter how upset I'm gonna be, I'm not gonna run to anyone like before or search for ways to be happy temporarily. I'll face it like the young adult I am. I'll face it sober and I'll change.

What you think of me matters more than you know. I know I shouldn't live life according to other people's standards. But what I cannot stand is you thinking badly of me. I cannot take it.

This Chinese New Year has ended. It's another excuse to party and I've partied. It's time to end this year long party. Almost every single day I'm partying! The party has to end someday and it is now. And it is because of you.