My last layover: Frankfurt, Germany

It was my last layover as a cabin crew of QR.

Some people say that Frankfurt cannot be compared to other cities in Germany like Munich, or Berlin, in terms of architecture, entertainment, etc. But I found beauty in it as well.

It was raining when we landed in the morning. Instead of sleeping, I had a wonderful breakfast buffet in the hotel and took a small walk. Went back to the extremely tiny hotel room and slept a little, then took a train to town. Met extremely helpful Germans who helped me find my way around Germany's slightly confusing transport system. They just came back from Spain. Would have asked them to join me for a nice drink if they weren't carrying extremely huge luggages.

Took quite a long walk from the central station... until I reached this area where people were playing life music. Bought potatoes, sausages and beer and sat down in a corner eating happily. Met a Hongkong guy who was travelling around Europe for a month or so. Then I went to another restaurant alone and ordered food just for the sake of spending more time in the city. It was way, way too cold.

The next day, I took an express train by mistake and ended up in a small town. Sat outdoors, looking at birds fly by, typing on my iPad, sipping cafe latte and eating a sandwich.

It was so good.

I knew that my wonderful lifestyle would be ending very soon but I was looking for more. & it was time to go and continue my search for that something extra in life.

Casablanca: dusty city + good african beer

Sealine, Desert, Qatar

It was 3am when I arrived. It was dark... I could hardly see anything. The only thing that helped me see were lights coming from the car we drove there. The sand was cold... Really cold. There were many stars in the sky. We took a mat, lay down, and just listen to good old Damien Rice songs. 2 hours later, the sun rose behind the sand in the air. When it was bright and there was cold morning air, we went into the vast, clear sea and soak ourselves...

After that, shivering from the cold, we drove out of the desert to go home and stopped for coffee and breakfast on the way. Everyone had woken up & the roads were full of cars; people rushing to work, people going home in the morning.

Couldn't help but to be amazed at how life good is.

Rome; wonderful weather, narrow streets, huge trees and strong buildings...

Relationships

After a person has been in your life for a good amount of time, it's impossible to treat them as just a passerby anymore. You loved, you hated, and now... how is it possible to just stay neutral?

You know you are not good for each other, you know that it's just a bad, bad habit... And so the feeling of seeing that person after a long long time, the familiar feeling of wanting to be with him/her all the time again scares you. No way are you falling into that deep black hole again, where you were blinded by your love for him/her.

You don't want to lose... but is it really that important to win, anyway?

Letter for myself: And so it is, just like you said it would be...

Dear me,

It's the middle of the night, one week after I've left Doha. I'm sitting in my room, in the dark, at 4am in the morning, in Singapore, Singapore. It's funny how things took an unexpected turn and I end up where I am right here at this moment... with a snap of fingers. Coming home was the right decision that I've made... & I also realised that Doha has changed me in a way that cannot be reversed anymore.

It's not that I don't care. Somehow I feel like I'm just someone sitting in the middle of the world, pretending to know what I'm doing by saying that I don't care. There are too many things to care about, too many opinions to listen to. I feel like my mind is swimming with words and scenes and I become confused. The line between right and wrong is becoming blury and I don't really know where is it anymore.

People who are like poison and people who are good for me: which ones are which? Am I pushing the right ones away and going closer to the wrong ones? Can someone be poisonous but good for me at the same time?

Once again I stand at the crossroads of my life. I want my life to be magnificant... I want it too badly. And I need to find out WHAT exactly makes a life magnificant.

We learn new things about each other everyday. Can you still recognise yourself when you look into the mirror today?

Love,
Ven

Letter for myself

Doha, Qatar
Autumn
11/10/2010

I am sitting in an Arabic cafe, smoking sheesha, eating great food and spending quality time with my amazing friends. In exactly 2 days, my journey in Doha is going to end. All good things come to an end, and I've got my happy ending. It is time for a new beginning. An even more awesome life.

Throughout my stay in Doha, I've met so many amazing people who taught me about life, love, friendship and myself. I've also been educated about language, culture and people. This experience will always be part of my life, a period of time when I will always look back and miss.

I've grown stronger, and I am going to return home as a changed person. In this 6 months Ive had the craziest fun, but at the same time I've also experinced infinite confusion and loneliness. But cracks in the heart are good, because they allow light to come in.

I have found a type of happiness that cannot be put into words.

As Elizabeth Gilbert said,

"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it."

Moving away from a place where I've familiarized myself with is challenging, but sometimes it's change that allows transformation and growth. Doha has become my whole life, but now, I am finally returning to my real home.

Until then,
Me